My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
