I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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