White coat. Heels.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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