He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
