your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
