yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
