I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
