i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
