Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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