used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
