Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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