Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
