I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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