My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
