Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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