I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
And then my night got REAL pukey
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Damn victory sex feels great
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
