the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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