Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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