even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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