I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
