I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
