Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
