Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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