he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize