This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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