I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
