Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
