Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
