It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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