I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
