Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
