Your tits are I can't wait for
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
