next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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