i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
