Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
