question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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