Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
