I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
