i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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