i just google imaged poop.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
