I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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