Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
