I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
