thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
