I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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