I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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