Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
