Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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