he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
