yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We got so high we made milksteak
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
