I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
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