so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
